Untitled
by Syou
Summary: Feelings for a friend creates confusion and hell for Matt. His father finds him a disgrace as his best friend finds him to be his love.
1. Ch1: Shelter

Untitled-TaixMatt

Sapphire orbs stared out at iridescent droplets as they passed his vision. His hair was a dull sunshine colour, clinging to his face and neck. He knew it wasn't the best weather to be out in. But as his converse slide over the concrete sidewalk and trod through the puddles, his mind was elsewhere. Things had been a little rough at home with his father, the revelation that his son turned out to be gay wasn't pleasing in the least. Rather, it's the reason for him to be out in this weather. He wasn't sure where he was going to go or how long he would be gone, but he knew he had to find somewhere for shelter and soon. The chill of the rain had made its way into his bones, shivering didn't help. He was going to be sick from the cold but that didn't bother him at all. What bothered him was who was on his mind. He never expected to think of him in this way. He didn't want to think of his best friend in this way.

He made this way to _His_ apartment subconsciously. Stepping inside the lobby of a small apartment building he punched the numbers into the speaker. He blinked in surprise when the voice sounded out after the first ring. Snapping out of it, he paid attention to the voice.

"Hello... Hello?"

"Yea, hi, um, it's Matt, can I come in? My dad kinda kicked me out for the night."

"Yep! C'mon in!"

The buzz of the door rang through his ears. Matt went through the door, his wet shoes sqished on the carpeted floor. He made his way up to his friend's apartment. He was met at the door and almost wanted to die on the spot. The chill in his body was slowly getting to him as his body seemed to almost convulse with shivers. The other boy blinked in surprise at the state of the soaked boy in front of him.

"Holy crap Matt, what the he'll happened to you?"

"I finally told my dad that I'm 'different' Tai. Obviously he didn't like that fact"

His voice was quiet; he didn't exactly want to talk. Noticing chocolate eyes staring at him Matt stiffened. A soft hand took him inside. Grabbing some warm clothes from his room he gently pushed Matt into the bathroom.

"Clean up, I'll get you something warm to drink."

Matt nodded slowly and closed the door behind him. Grabbing a towel he undressed, dried off and redressed in the clothes he was given. The chill had set deeply into his body. Stepping out of the small room the hazelnut haired boy took the wet clothes from him as he passed him a mug of warmth. He quickly sat the mug on the table. The glass was beginning to burn his hand. Dropping down into a plush cushion on the couch his body continued to shake. The house was empty, the sound from the television echoed through the house. Looking over at the other boy, he wondered why Tai lived by himself. His parents knew he was gay, they had accepted him. They wanted him to stay, yet he left anyway. Why?

"Are you alright?" The sudden question snapped him out of his thoughts.

"I'm freezing." He replied tersely.

Before he knew it a fuzzy azure blanket was wrapped around his shoulders.

"Do you need anything else?" Tai asked.

"I'll be fine, thanks."

"So what happened?"

Matt's composure seemed to almost deflate in his chills, sapphire eyes fell into their own depths.

"Well, like I said, I told him the truth. He didn't like it, threw a plate at me. Thankfully, it missed me and hit the wall. I got out of there before anything else could happen. He yelled after me not to bother coming back tonight."

Tai nodded, he kept his eyes on the fallen boy hoping everything would turn out. Turning his head, he glanced out the window. The sky was dark and cloudy. Heavy rain was still falling. The next time his chocolate eyes laid sight on the other boy next to him, he had fallen asleep. Golden locks obscured his face as the azure blanket laid limply about his. A small smile slipped across Tai's face as he pulled the blanket closed. He laid the boy down on the couch gently. Slipping to his own room he hoped the other boy would be alright for the night.


	2. Ch2: Sickness

Rays of liquid gold streaked across the cool amber floor. Stretching his pale legs he sat up in bed to get ready for the day. Tai pulled on his brown shorts and regular blue tee as he stepped out of his bedroom. The sun was brightly lighting the room giving it a brilliant shine. Glancing over to the blonde lump on the couch he thought the soft face had a warm glow in the sunlight. Even with the tragedy hiding behind the innocence, he could think of nothing more beautiful. It was as though he was a divine creature He stopped his thoughts in their tracks. What was he thinking? Matt was his best friend; he couldn't possibly think this kind of thing about him.

Striding into the kitchen he kept his mind blank as he made his morning coffee, yet, Tai couldn't help but look at the boy still asleep on his couch. Turning away he placed sugar in his mug and poured the dark brew into the cup. Adding a little bit of cream, he watched the swirling caramel coloured liquid blend together. Setting the spoon down, Tai sat at the table. He decided he would wait for the other to wake up. Watching the world pass by his vision, he didn't hear the soft pit pat of the other moving towards to the bathroom.

The cool pearl tiles made the soles of his feet tingle. Matt laid his hands lightly onto the midnight countertop. Glancing at his reflection in the mirror he saw the pale demeanour of a sick child wishing not to feel. His sapphire eyes listless and skin almost ivory, drained of all colour. The dark plum circles under his eyes made him look aged and unhealthy. The shell that made up his body seemed to draw within itself as the affliction took hold of him.

Splashing cold water over his skin he tried to get the dizzying fever to go down. Patting his face dry Matt weakly made his way back to the fuzzy blanket on the plush couch. Sniffling, he curled up to try to rest more. Or he would have, but he blinked when a cool hand was rested softly on his brow.

"Matt…You're burning up…"

"I know. I knew I was going to get sick. I was outside in the rain for maybe 4 or 5 hours."

"Why didn't you say something?"

"I didn't want to be a bother…"

Concerned chocolate eyes stared down at him. He could see the anxiety behind the rich colour.

"You're not leaving until you're better." Tai said calmly.

"But…" Matt tried to object but Tai wouldn't let him continue and objected immediately.

"No. It won't kill you to be taken care of for once."

Matt shut his mouth; he didn't see a point in arguing when he knew he wasn't going to win. Besides, his mind was drawing a blank for reasons of why he should leave. His father was disappointed with him to say the least, and his mother lived on the other side of the city. He was not happy with the situation he got himself into. Closing his eyes Matt wished he hadn't said anything to his father. He wished he was not in this apartment. He wished to be far away from himself, maybe in the Digiworld, where everything would be okay. Where he could just sit and think, or talk to Gabumon. Everything was always content and calm there. Or at least it was when they didn't have to fight something.

Sighing softly to himself, Matt sunk into the depths of the blanket while his stomach turned and fought with itself. He was hungry and he thought he could faintly smell vegetable soup heating on the stove.

"This should help settle your stomach."

Smiling gently when opal eyes opened and looked up at him, Tai held out a tray with a big bowl of soup and a piece of lightly buttered toast; along with a mug of hot lemon. It was everything Matt needed to rest. He could see the slight unease in his composure but he thought nothing of it.

"Thank you, Tai" Matt said quietly.

A caring, "No problem." was Tai's answer.

Sipping the warm drink Matt let the hot soup settle his insides and slowly took the chill out of his bones. He figured things might be okay after all, being at Tai's while being sick. He knew Tai to be a faithful friend, and he even took him in and trying to take care of him. He slowly realized why he cared for Tai so much. The way the boy treated him was like no one else, but he would remain silent about these feelings. He knew better than that. He didn't want Tai to push him away.


	3. Ch3: Thoughts

Sapphire eyes slowly opened as a deep breath released from the confines of his lungs, the sky had faded into the deep magentas and violets of dusk. He didn't realize this at first, not until he caught a glimpse of long shadows stretching over the floor. Sitting up to gaze out towards the window a cool cloth landed in his lap. Looking down at the cloth, he picked it up allowing the moisture to chill his finger tips. Folding it over, Matt set it on the small oak coffee table in front of the couch. Also on the coffee table sat his neatly folded clothes, a clean pair of pyjamas and a note. Picking up the small piece of paper his eyes moved over the short worded note, and nodding slowly to himself he picked up the pyjamas. Matt got up sluggishly. His feet dragged over the floor as he made his way to the bathroom. The clothes were dropped onto the dark counter top in a messy heap. Moving to sit on the edge of the alabaster tub he ran water until heated, where he plugged the tub to allow it to fill.

Setting a fluffy moss coloured towel beside the clothes on the counter, Matt made sure the door was firmly shut before undressing. Letting the clothes fall almost gracefully to the floor, he turned the water off with slender fingers. He stepped into the bath; the water enveloped him in a sun ray like warmth. Laying back slowly he let himself flow on a river of thoughts. Slowly Matt allowed his body to let go of the tension he built over the past few days. Laying his head back champagne hair laid tousled, cobalt eyes closed. Time felt as though it stood still, absolutely frozen, nothing was wrong in this moment. He was oblivious to the front door opening and swinging shut, the jingle of keys being put on the table, and the exasperated sigh that left a certain brunette's mouth. Matt's conscious was slowly beginning to slip from him as the warmth made him feel at home.

His back straighten stiffly as he suddenly took a breath of water instead of air. Leaning over the side of the tub quickly, his throat felt constricted, his lungs screaming in agony as they tried to eject the sudden intrusion of hot water. His lips were a gaping hole as he tried to keep air in his lungs but no matter how he tried his continued to choke until the water was expelled from his system. Gasping for air, his chest heaved as his lungs continued to dully hurt from the water. A soft knock came at the door, Matt sunk a little into the water.

"Hey, you alright?" Tai's voice called through the door.

"M'fine, just… breathed in some water."

"Why?"

"It was an accident!" Matt called back in slight embarrassment.

All went silent as Matt lay back in the water again, trying to enjoy the heat that remained in the water. He stayed there until the warmth was gone; emptying some of the water he filled the tub up with hot water again so he could at least wash his hair. Slipping under the surface he gently scrubbed his scalp of any shampoo and filth. Standing he allowed the water to run down his ivory skin, allowing the water to drain he rinsed the bath out. Stepping out onto the cold floor, he grabbed his towel. Wrapping it about his hips he shook his hair out quickly and got dressed. Slipping out into the main room of the apartment, he looked around quietly. The brunette caught his eye; the boy had changed into a pair of fleece tartan pyjamas and a thin cotton tee. His mind already began to wander, thoughts that plagued him for sometime returning once again. He was still confused, and he would still ignore the feelings. Tai was his best friend; it would be awkward for such things to take place.

Stepping towards his place on the couch he glanced at the clock. It was nearly midnight, the twinkling sky outside of the glass panel held his attention as his thoughts went in circles of constant arguing with himself.

"You seem tense." Tai commented slowly.

"Can you blame me?" Matt replied.

"Not really, but maybe if you relax things will settle down faster."

"Don't be stupid…"

"He'll come around Matt, just give him time. Do you think my parents were golden with the idea at first?" Tai spoke calmly.

"That's not the only thing bothering me…" His voice wasn't much more than a murmur.

"Hm?"

"Nothing, I don't want to talk about it…" His gaze returned to the sky, as his voice fell into silence.

Tai nodded slowly, slightly confused. This seemed out of the ordinary for the blonde. Tai knew he could be stubborn, but usually they were pretty okay with talking to one another. Something substantial was bothering Matt and he knew it, but he couldn't figure out what.

Matt quietly gazed out at the night sky. He didn't want to look at the brunette. He wanted to stop feeling these complicated feelings.

_I don't want to make thing awkward…_


	4. Ch4: Surprise

Laying between the cotton sheets the hazelnut haired boy couldn't bring himself to a calm enough state to fall asleep. His mind should be in the plush silk clouds above. But he was trying to figure out what was wrong with the boy that was now in a deep slumber on his couch. Thinking of the slender ivory face, the silence hiding the perplexity in cobalt eyes; he wished the boy would just talk. Rolling onto his side Tai faced the wall, the smooth willow coloured wall a boundary between him and the blonde. Sighing softly when the sun began to peek over the tops of the concrete buildings, he crawled from the bed to make a wakening cup of coffee. Padding gently out of the room to turn the kettle on, the soft pull of lost sleep tugged at his consciousness. The empty cushions caught his chocolate eyes, Matt was gone. Confusion flooded his mind as he wondered where the blonde went. Question after question filled his head as he walked over to the couch. Why would he leave? What made him leave? His thoughts were stopped dead as he caught movement of a black sleeved arm leaning on the balcony ledge. Moving towards the glass door softly he gazed out to the slim ebony figure.

The light illuminated the slender boy, a slight curve in his back as he leaned over the dingy rail. His figure was grabbed in ebony fibres that clung gently to every contortion of his body; stone washed faded denims extended the shape to the slightly bent knees to the bare feet. Slender arms remained leaned while soft calloused hands limply sat over the ledge. His soft ivory features held a light rose glow with the crisp morning, while sapphire eyes stared out to the tall concrete buildings. The gentle morning air creating the softest movements in tousled hair of the slender boy as his thoughts floated. Staying leaned against the dull wall; chocolate eyes didn't want to leave the figure. He didn't understand himself, why was he staring at the blonde, noticing everything about him; every strand of hair on his head, every small fleck in his soft blue eyes, the miniscule imperfections that made the blonde perfect. Tai was snapped from this distraction with the shrill whistling of the kettle on the counter. In a split moment, he made his way back to the counter to stop the head splitting noise. Flicking the clear switch, he did his best to slip into his usual morning routine. Watching caramel swirl around his mug as he had done many times, his conscious was once again pulled by the lull of the softness of slumber. Taking a deep drink of the warm liquid, he turned to look out the window.

Sighing to himself, the blonde stepped back from the rail. He came through the door; his cool feet absorbed the warmth held in the oak floor. Matt slide the door closed gently behind him, the light no longer reflecting the warmth of the sun rays. Cobalt met chocolate, bare feet stopped in their tracks. The blonde had not expected him to be right there upon walking in, he thought it was too early yet for Tai to be awake. Stepping back his heel hit the iridescent panel, blocking his only way out. Matt didn't know why he was so anxious to leave, but the anxiety rose within as the brunette stepped ever closer to him. As he watched Tai carefully, he didn't understand what happened. A hand gently cupped his face; warm lips gently caressed his own. Matt's eyes widen, and he instantly pushed the brunette away from him.

In a matter of seconds Matt left Tai's apartment. It wasn't the most mature acts but it was the only thing he could think of doing. He'd forgotten entirely about his shoes on his way out. He didn't understand what possessed Tai to do such a thing, but he would not stick around afterwards. He thought it was just some trick; Tai was always picking on him. He figured that Tai somehow knew about his feelings and was using them against him.

_This is just some sick joke…it must be..._

He stopped at a weather worn bench, sitting down on the bench he thought of the past and the all the times he spent with his friend. All the adventures they had shared. He thought of how he always pushed the other boy away, yet he had always meant so much to him. But of everything that ever happened between him, he couldn't bring himself to admit that he loved him. Tai kissed him, the one thing he had wanted, but it was the one thing he didn't want to happen at the same time. It killed his heart for him to be like this. He did not believe that Tai was interested in him in the least. He firmly believed the kiss was only to try and get the blonde to talk. Sinking back into the wood he brought his knees up, hugging them tightly, he looked up to the sky. He had to go back at some point, his wallet and shoes were there, but for now he would remain there and think.

Sinking into the cushions of the couch, he wondered if what he had done was wrong. He wondered if leaving was smart or a moronic move on his part.

_Of course it was wrong, he floored you…_

What had influenced him to do this was a mystery; Matt had enjoyed the boy's company up to this point. He wished he could take back his actions. Matt wanted Tai to appear next to him somehow. His heart was hurting, but he wasn't sure why. He never felt this way about anyone. He'd pushed him away out of fear, not hate. Matt was worried if Tai knew the difference.

_I need to find him._

Getting to his feet, Tai walked into his room, pulling on a soft blue tee and dirt colour shorts; he slipped his sneakers off and left the apartment. He did not know where his feet would take him, as long as they lead him to the blonde. Tai needed to at least try to explain himself. He had to at least try to apologize.


	5. Ch5: Don't fool me

Tai looked everywhere he could think of for Matt. Anywhere they hung out on a regular basis he checked, even double checked. There was no sight of him. Tears were gathering in his chocolate eyes. The silence pained his ears; he had to find him. He had to apologize. Tai looked up at the sky, clouds where parting to let late afternoon light glimmer through.

Line after line, word after clumsy word filled his head. Tai knew exactly what he was going to say to him. It might not be smart but it needed to be said. How was he going to face Matt after making such a fool of himself? Would he laugh? Would he run away again? He knew he had to try. Tai knew he had to find Matt. He had to be somewhere...

Dull blonde locks fell flat against soft ivory skin. Cobalt eyes were raised skyward. The hard bench had begun to take its toll after hours of sitting; the base of his spine had begun to ache. A shiver ran up his back and Matt hugged his legs tightly. Letting his gaze fall, Matt placed his naked feet on the ground. Placing one in front of the other he took himself away from the park.

Time ticked by at a sluggish pace, minutes felt like hours. Hours that felt like an eternity. The world slipped into a haze of surrealism. Each step felt as though his sense of reality was being left behind. Matt's fogged mind felt like a blessing. His arms swung by his sides; they felt heavy and tired. His emotions drained leaving him an empty vessel moving aimlessly forward.

Matt's sense of peace ended abruptly as a searing pain shot through his foot. He hopped on one foot over to a nearby lamp post. He slumped against it and lifted his foot. Looking down he saw he had stepped on a shard of a broken glass. Carefully he lowered himself into the soft grass. Wincing both in pain and at the sight of his foot Matt touched the skin around the wound. It stung immediately causing him to withdraw his hand. Taking a deep breath Matt carefully got his fingers around the broken glass. He quickly withdrew the shard. It wasn't the greatest idea but he couldn't walk with a piece of glass lodged in the sole of his foot. His adrenalin was going and it made him feel a bit light headed.

Rising to his feet once again he tiptoed his way from the park. Matt did his best to keep his weight shifted off his injury. Unknowing to Matt a certain brunette was not very far away behind...

Sneaks beat the pavement as they ran along the edge of the park. They hit tiny puddles of water sending droplets flying. The clouds had gathered and rain was pattering down from the sky. Tear filled eyes scanned over every section of the empty park for the slightest glint of Matt.

Tai's browns hair, now damp, stuck to his face. He wiped the strands away with the back of his hand. He remembered Matt had already been caught in the rain once. He didn't want him to get sick again. Tai knew Matt wouldn't have much choice about where to go. He couldn't leave his friend out in this weather.

Wet gold slowly came into view at the other end of the park. He ran towards his as fast as he could. If soccer practice applied to the real world at all it was now.

Finally, after looking all day, he had found him. Matt was bare foot, limping along the sidewalk. Tai did his best to pick up speed. The idea of Matt behind hurt made Tai's stomach sink.

"Matt!" He cried desperately.

Matt stopped and looked back at Tai bounding down the path. He sighed in defeat. The last person he wanted to see right now was_ him_.

"What Tai…you didn't make a big enough fool of me already?"

"What? No! I'm here to apologize… I didn't mean to make you run off like that. I thought that maybe... I hoped... I'm so sorry."

Matt hesitantly stepped towards him, confused all the more. Brushing hair from his own eyes he looked Tai up and down. Tai was panting and wet from the rain. His clothing was damp and clung to his body. He looked so worried and scared Matt would turn and run off again.

"You weren't playing me….?" Matt asked.

"No! I wouldn't do that to you. I mean, you're my best friend. You know me better than anyone. And this is important... I was worried about you." Tai was starting to ramble now and Matt was having a hard enough time trying to focus concentration.

"You were?"

"Yes. Matt, you've barely said a word to me since you came to my house. It worried me because I know you like me-"

Matt straightened stiffly feeling nervous. He took a quick step back but was stopped by Tai. His hand shot out and grabbed Matt's forearm.

"Please don't run away again." Tai looked at him with his big watering eyes. "Matt I feel the same for you. I have for a long time."

Matt continued to look at him in confusion. He wanted to believe what Tai was saying, but didn't know if he should. Taking a careful tiptoed step towards Tai he raised himself up as close as he could, pressing his lips very gently against the soft skin of the taller boy. He felt gentle hands place themselves at the small of his back, their warmth seeping through the wet material of his shirt. Matt pulled back from Tai's cheek slightly. Tai turned his head so their noses touched.

"What did you do to your foot? You're limping." The brunette kept a gentle voice, but it didn't hide the concern he felt.

"I… um… stepped on a piece of glass… I know I should go to the hospital to get it looked at, but they would have called my father. I can't face him right now Tai..."

Tai held back a protest. It was a stupid choice but he understood Matt's feelings. Sighing softly he shook his head. Tai picked up Matt's slender boy care. Feeling the tense Matt was keeping, he placed a soft kiss on his forehead. Tai was surprised at how light Matt really was. He carried him back to the apartment, keeping him close and safe.

When they got back, Tai settled Matt down on a kitchen chair. They were both dripping and cold. Tai told Matt to stay put before quickly running off for a moment. He gathered up dry clothes, a fresh towel and the first aid kit from the bathroom.

Sitting on the floor in front of the blonde he very gently cleaned the cut. Every time Matt winced Tai felt guilty. Tai tried to pay attention to what he was doing but Matt's whimpered distracted him. It took a while but he got the foot wrapped in a bandage.

"Feel better now?" Tai asked avoiding eye contact.

"A bit, thank you." Matt dipped his head politely to him.

Rising to his feet, Tai gave him the dry clothing before he left to dry off and change himself. He left quietly, not sure of what else he can say. Matt hadn't said anything about his little confession earlier and it was starting to make him feel guilty. Disappearing into the bathroom he stripped himself of his wet clothing. He picked up a plush green towel and dried himself. He caught his reflection in the mirror, he looked horrible. He looked pale. His eyes where rimmed in red. Soggy chunks of hair clung around his face. Matt looked away pulling on a navy blue t-shirt and ivory pyjama pants. The clothes were loose on his slender figure but cozy. They were Tai's and they smelled just like him.

Matt left the bathroom. Looking up threw his wet bangs he noticed a dorky smile on the brunette's face. He felt his cheeks turn a gentle shade of crimson. He felt better knowing Tai wasn't going to avoid him now. Walking over to his best friend Matt leaned into him. Arms wrapped around him tightly.

"Stay with me Matt… Stay here with me." Tai said softly.

Surprised cobalt eyes looked up at him. Matt was speechless when he saw Tai's expectant smile.


	6. Ch:6: Safe

Speechless sapphire eyes started up at him. Stay, as in move in? They had only established that they felt the same for one another. Matt didn't know what to say. It felt too soon. He loved Tai for a long time but Matt didn't know how he felt about taking suck a huge step forward. Biting his lip he let his lungs deflate in a quiet sigh. Matt laid his head on the chest of the taller boy, remaining quiet and unsure of what he should say. He listened to the soft beats of Tai's heart. It beat gently but had an under tone of suppressed excitement. The constant drumming was hypnotising. Matt thought he could feel just how much he was loved by listening to it. Relaxing into Tai he didn't look up at him as he spoke, afraid of the look he'd have. He knew in a moment Tai would be looking at him with those pained puppy dog eyes of his.

"I don't know Tai… I'd have to go get my stuff from my father's and I don't know what he'd do…. He threw a plate at my head when he found that I was gay. I don't think he'd be too happy if he found out I was moving in with you…."

"He doesn't have to know that we're together; just tell him that I'm looking for a roommate to help cover the rent." Tai protested. He was starting to feel a bit rejected but wasn't going to give up so easily.

"I don't have a job; both he and you know that." Matt said.

No air escaped the taller boy's chest. He was holding his breath. Tightening his arms around the slender frame, he didn't want to let go of the boy. He always forgot how small Matt actually was in comparison to himself. It made him want to protect him all the more. The small frame leaned into him, a fair haired head tucking beneath his chin. Neither boy knew what to do at the moment. Tai wished Matt didn't have such a stubborn father. He understood that Matt was afraid but Tai knew he could help.

"Do you still have the key to your father's place?" Tai asked softly.

"It's at home. I don't have anything with me. I just threw my shoes on and got out of there before anything else could happen. Although, I know where the spare key is hidden." Matt replied, not sure where this was headed.

"Well, how about this then: we can go when your father is asleep, get as much of your stuff as you need, and get the hell out of there?" Tai's voice was deadly serious. Matt looked up at him as if he had gone crazy.

"Have you gone mad? My father would be pissed!" He yelled.

Tai smiled warmly to try and make the boy feel a bit better about the idea. "What I mean is I'll take you home. You go inside, pack as much as you can in a backpack or two, and come back out to the car. We'll get out of there together. Do you have another idea?"

Matt laid his head back down gently on Tai's shoulder. "Let's just leave it for now. I don't want to think about it…" His voice was small.

Placing a soft kiss upon his head, Tai let the topic drift off for the time being. He walked Matt over to the couch to sit and pulled him into his lap. Tai held him gently for what felt like hours. They sat together in silence.

Tai wanted to make all of Matt's problems go away somehow. He wanted to make everything better. For now he knew there wasn't much he was able to do for him.

Curling into the warm body, Matt let his mind drift off. The baggy clothes he wore provided a degree of comfort because they belonged to Tai. However, being so close to the other boy made him feel a different kind of calm. He didn't understand how Tai could always be so gentle but it was appreciated. Matt felt safe where he was, the argument with his father slipped into the back of his mind. The shattering plate on the wall and the fear slid away as he sat, wrapped in warm arms. Allowing his eyes to close, he relaxed against Tai. Hanging onto him with long slender fingers, he didn't want to let go, afraid the feeling of safety would leave him.

"Don't let me go…" His voice was tiny and barely audible.

Tai looked at him, a little surprised by the sudden vulnerability. Tightening his arms around him softly he held him close, leaning his head against his. He spoke softly,

"I won't Matt. Everything will be okay."

The boys remained where they were, entangled with one another.


	7. Ch7: Fear

It was nearly midnight when a blonde head picked itself up off Tai's shoulder. The sky had darkened to deep shades of navy and onyx, twinkling stars speckled about as the silver moon gave light to the room. The pure light washed the room in a calming glow; Tai had fallen asleep by this time, a quiet snore coming from his still body. Matt moved very carefully as not to wake the other boy, but found himself stuck in Tai's grip. He didn't understand how someone could have such a strong grip in their sleep. Gently prying the boy's fingers apart he stood up off the bed.

"Where ya goin'…" A sleepy voice murmured.

_Damn…_ Matt thought.

"Just to the bathroom, go back to sleep. I'll be right back." He said softly.

Moving fluidly Matt placed a gentle kiss on his forehead; relaxing a little when Tai sunk onto his side to curl up for sleep. He sipped out of the room quietly. Going to the door he put his shoes on, wincing at the pain in his foot. He knew this would be a bad idea, but he also knew Tai was right. A rare occasion but it happens.

He had to get out of there while he could, before his father completely freaked at him. Matt opened the door just enough to squeeze through. Quietly he went into the sleeping city, placing careful limped steps leading to his own home.

The night air held a chill from the earlier rain. It sunk into his skin but he would not allow it to bother him. He had something to do. With any luck he could get it done quietly and quickly, and be back before Tai woke up again. The street lights left an eerie glow to the city, like he was standing in the middle of a survival horror video game. He didn't feel safe out so late alone, even if he had been many times before.

Gimping up to the dark door of his father's home he rummaged in a window flower box for a moment before pulling up a small silvery key. Carefully and as silently as he could Matt opened the door and stepped into the quiet house.

A small dent in the wall remained from the thrown plate, almost eye level with him. Upon seeing this he hoped his father was either not home or asleep. Slipping out of his shoes he crept along the old wooden floor towards his room. Freezing deathly still at any noise, he felt his heart skip a beat completely. He never thought he would be so afraid under his own roof. Tiptoeing into his room he stuffed his wallet into his pocket, working quickly he grabbed a backpack and began stuffing it with clothes and anything else that would fit. He would sort it out later when he needed to. His mind raced, he did not hear the steps coming towards the room.

"Yamato?"

Matt froze; blood was pounding in his ears. Slowly looking over his shoulder at the shadow in the door way he was unsure of what to do. His father was looking at him with an angry sneer. Technically Matt did just break in.

"Y-yea?" He tried to keep his voice steady.

"What are you doing here?" The firm voice of his dad had never been more creepy.

A strong hand grasped the boy's arm firmly and jerked him away from the bed.

"I thought I made it very clear that you weren't welcome here. You are an absolute disgrace."

"I-I only came to get some of my things…" He felt weak compared to his father.

"Like hell you are."

He was dragged out of his room and shoved against the wall.

"You better tell me that you were fucking around Yamato. This has all better be some kind of god damn sick joke."

Matt stared at his father and weakly shook his head.

"No dad... It wasn't a joke… It's true…"

Matt flinched when a hand slammed into the wall beside him. The rage emanating from his father sent chills throughout his body. Sapphire eyes remained closed as he kept his head turned away. The silence in the air was more frightening than the angry man in front of him. He didn't know what else to do. He felt the grip on his arm loosen. Was his father letting him go? He was mistaken. Within a split second Matt could only feel throbbing pain run through his abdomen.

"How could you do this to me?" His father yelled, continuing to beat him. It almost seemed like he hoped he could beat the homosexuality out of him. He kicked and slapped, punched him a number of times. Matt couldn't fight back. It was after all his dad. They were family.

Sinking to the floor, Matt could do nothing but try to protect himself. Curling into a ball and trying to hide.

Tai moved a little upon the empty bed, opening his chocolate eyes he was at first confused. Something felt wrong. When he came to after a moment he looked around for what was missing, rather, who was missing. He stood up and left the room, Tai vaguely remembered saying about Matt going to the washroom at some point. What was that, a few hours ago? Making his way first to the kitchen he turned the lights on. He now noticed that Matt, along with his shoes from the door were missing.

"Matt… you didn't… Fuck." He cursed to himself.

Never stopping for a moment Tai went to his room first. He threw on a pair of pants and grabbed his jacket. Running out of the apartment he made his way down the street hoping Matt was alright.


	8. Ch8: Pain

Time felt as it stood still, Matt didn't dare move from where he was on the cold tile. Not that he probably could. Bruises slowly formed on his skin and his nose finally stopped bleeding. The bridge of his nose felt swollen and sore. He had bitten into his lip which was now starting to dry and crust over.

He never felt so betrayed in his life. He stayed a trembling ball upon his father's floor. He wanted to run but all he could do was cry. Matt tried to stay still, keeping down a wave of nausea.

His father had left the room; even with Matt beaten to a bloodied mess he seemed unsatisfied. After what seemed like forever he came back.

"Get up."

Matt moved carefully, but he was impatient. Grabbing his arm tightly he pulled Matt to his feet.

"Get your shit and get out. I don't ever want to see you around here again. You're not welcome in my home." His voice was firm.

Matt nodded, afraid to provoke his anger any more. Taking limping trembling steps he went to his room. He began to stuff his bags again. He tried to move as quickly as he could but every movement sent pain throughout his body.

"Hurry up." His father barked from the hall.

"I'm trying…"

"Try harder."

Ignoring the pain Matt did as he was told. He frantically emptied the dresser. Cramming clothes and books into wherever there was room. Matt took everything he was able to. His life was turning upside down before his sapphire eyes. His mind spun in confused circles as he packed up everything he owned. All his things were stuffed into a few bags. Bending to pick up his guitar case; it didn't feel real. All the extra weight wasn't there. Everything felt surreal and light. Making his way from the room he felt the burning eyes of his father on his back. He slipped his shoes on and left the house.

He heard the dead bolt slide into place. Matt was locked out of what was his home, literally kicked to the curb. Matt did his best to stay upright. He forced himself down the sidewalk to put as much distance between he and his father as possible.

However, he didn't get far. Matt's movements were slow and it was a struggle to crawl let alone walk. Once exhaustion finally set in he couldn't bring himself to move anymore. Standing was too much effort. He slumped on to the sidewalk trying to regain his breath.

He heard shoes running towards him; Matt didn't move to look up. He saw the stained white sneakers stop in front of him. A hand touched his shoulder. Jerking away he fell back on his bottom. Matt stared up with wide bruised blue eyes. A brown eyed brunette stared back down at him, shocked and scared. The brunette was sweaty and panting.

"Matt…what happened…" His voice filled with concern as be bent to the other's level.

Matt started to cry again, partly from fear, partly from pain. Moving slowly he clung to the brunette. Crying into his shoulder, ignoring the pain that it placed on his nose he stayed close to him. Matt felt soft hands hold him gently.

"Matt we have to get you to a hospital… You're a mess." His voice was soft, worrying.

Tai held him gently; scared he might make something worse. He felt the blonde shake in his arms as he cried; every breath he could feel was laboured. They needed help, but Tai didn't have his phone or a way to get Matt anywhere.

"Matt do you have your phone on you?" He asked gently.

Matt nodded a tiny bit and moved stiffly to give him his phone. Laying his head on the brunette once more, he felt everything around him turn into a dizzy haze. He felt his eyes wanting to close as a concussion set deeper into him.

Tai shook him gently. "Hey, keep your eyes open for me." He tapped Matt gently trying to keep him awake. Desperate and scared, he turned to the phone.

He called for help, but the moment his attention was away Matt took the opportunity to rest his eyes. Matt's consciousness slipped away from him. Tai was sent into a spiralling panic attack while on the phone. He gently shook the limp blonde in his arms. Matt didn't move.

"Matt…? Matt!" His voice terrified.


	9. Ch9: Hospital

Tai waited impatiently in his chair. The bags of Matt's belongings sat beside him. He knew the chair was soft but it was like he was unable to feel it. All he could do was stare and bounce his leg. Matt lay in the bed before him. The quiet beeping of the heart monitor echoed in his ears as he waited for him to wake up. He kept a soft grip on a pale hand, afraid to let go. Tai had heard of this happening on the news, but he never thought it would happen so close to home.

He looked over the dark bruising on Matt's slender face; his nose was slightly swollen and red and there was a thin dark bluish line across where it had broken. His closed eyes were lined with purple bruising, along with his jaw. This was also just the visible injuries. The total damage was painful to look at. Tai was use to soccer injuries but this...

Matt was his son and did this as though he was nothing but a criminal. Broken ribs and nose, a rib scratched the surface of his lung making it difficult for him to breathe, a concussion, and untold amount of external bruising... Why would someone do this to their own child?

Matt's breathing pattern changed as he began to wake from his pained slumber. His eyes slowly cracked open, then brightness of the room causing him to squint for a moment until his eyes adjust to the lighting. He could no longer feel the pain he was once in, he knew where he was, he stared at the bleached ceiling. Turning his head to the side slowly he looked at Tai, moving and hanging onto his hand the best he could. He didn't attempt to sit up for he knew it would not be the best idea. He saw the small concerned smile spread across Tai face.

"Hey, how ya feel hun?" Tai asked. His voice was soft, soothing.

"I feel okay…" Matt answered after a long pause.

Matt was surprised by the sound of his own voice. It sounded weak, hoarse and small; he never expected to sound this way. This was the sound of an injured boy; he didn't remember becoming injured though. He remembered his father's anger in the back of his mind, but he couldn't remember what had happened.

"Tai…?" Matt started.

"Yes, Matt?"

"…What happened? ...I don't-I can't remember…" He looked confused under all the bruising.

Tai looked at him strangely, he didn't understand. "What do you mean what happened?"

"I mean, what happened? Why am I in the hospital?"

Tai nodded, remembering something his coach said about the brain and trauma. That at times when there is a deep set concussion along with a traumatic incident, it can erase the event from the victim's memory. What happened to Matt was certainly traumatic; it was something that should never happen to someone. Sighing softly, he pulled his chair closer to the bed. He held Matt's hand gently in his own.

"I don't exactly know what happened, because I wasn't there, and I feel terrible that I wasn't there to help you. As far as I can tell, you went to get your things from your father's, and he caught you and beat you." Tai spoke softly as not to send Matt into a spiralling frenzy.

The blonde boy stared at him, he knew Tai would never lie to him, but his father put him here? He felt at loss for words, he felt as though he had lost something. Looking down at himself he could see some bruising, even his hands were bruised. He couldn't remember what happened to him. Why couldn't he remember? How does something like this get lost from someone's mind?

"What exactly happened to me?" His voice was softer.

"They told me you have a severe concussion, the fact you're awake right now is amazing. You have a broken nose, a couple broken ribs. One of your ribs had slightly scratched one of your lungs, broken blood vessels and multiple bruised bones. They had to put a couple stitches in your lip from where you bit it. They said you should be able to leave sometime today, if you had woken up. Which you have… I'll be right back, I'm just going to get one of the nurses and let them know you're awake." Tai smiled reassuringly to him.

Matt gripped his hand tightly, not wanting him to go. He eyes looked hazed; he didn't want to believe that his father was capable of doing this to him. He could barely understand the damage done to him, let alone how it happened to him. Matt wanted to get out of the hospital, but he didn't want Tai to leave him. He was afraid to be alone. He was afraid for Tai to go away.

Tai looked at him; his chocolate eyes were concerned and soft. He slowly sunk down into the chair, nodding a little to reassure him he wasn't going anywhere. He slid his thumb softly over the other boy's hand. Tai promised he would sit there with him until a nurse came.

He continued to speak softly to him. Telling him that everything would be okay, that he would get better and things would be happier. He had a home where nothing would ever go wrong, and no one would turn against him. Placing a soft, gentle kiss upon his forehead, he stayed with the scared blonde.


	10. Ch10: Help

As time ticked by the medication started to wear off. Matt moved in discomfort but said nothing of how he was feeling. He didn't want Tai to leave him regardless of how much pain he was in. If he felt he needed him, he needed him now more than ever. His head felt as though it was spinning about the room, he laid his head against Tai's hand looking for comfort.

Tai smiled softly as he cupped his face gently. Leaning down he placed a kiss upon his forehead. He wanted to make all the hurt go away. He never saw someone become so vulnerable so quickly. Tai wanted to do something, but what was there for him to do?

The blonde's face felt soft under his hands. His eyes were the colour of the sky. The deep shades that usually made the boy's eyes vibrant and alive like gems appeared wounded and worn. Once he got away from the soft glow of his usual features the dark bruising was all that could be seen. It sparked anger in him as he watched his love suffer in silence. The grandeur of the words stung and ate at him visibly.

"He's awake?" A soft voice came from the door, it was a nurse.

Tai smiled a little and nodded. "He is."

The nurse walked over, looking at the blonde with soft green eyes. She placed a gentle hand on the side of the bed.

"Yamato, sweetie, can you look at me please?" Her voice was gentle.

Matt looked up at her, his eyes were still glazed. She checked over his eyes and nose with practiced ease. Moving carefully, she put a couple small stripes on his nose to keep the cartilage from moving. Leaving the room she fetched a doctor to check him over. Once all was said and done, Matt was discharged with a prescription for a mild painkiller and being told he should contact the police about the incident. Matt only nodded as the physician signed the discharge paper.

Tai carefully helped Matt out of the bed and into his clothes, giving him privacy when needed. Picking up the bags, he led the quiet boy out of the hospital. Hailing a taxi Tai took him home. The blonde was completely silent, staring out the window at the lights of the city. Tai placed a gentle had on his knee, feeling bad when he flinched a little.

"Hey… You're alright now. I wouldn't and won't hurt you, Matt…" Tai kept his voice soft.

Matt nodded, hesitantly laying his head on Tai's shoulder. Lights of every neon colour passed his glazed vision. He stayed close to Tai, looking for any kind of comfort he could bring himself. He remained unmoving until they parked at Tai's front door. The early morning light was beginning to cast its rays over the horizon. Stepping out of the vibrant yellow taxi, he tried to take any of his bags but he was stopped.

"I got them, you go inside and relax. The door is unlocked. I didn't know I was going to be this long." Tai spoke gently.

Tai watched him go inside as he picked up the bags one by one. Paying the taxi driver he went inside. Kicking the door closed, Tai set the bags down looking for Matt. He watched him quietly, trying to figure out what he could possibly do to help him, to make him feel better. The same sad expression clung to Matt's face; he seemed to remain in shock from what he had been told. His lip had gone down in swelling, the stitches dark against his pink lip.

Tai couldn't help looking at the sadness held within the injured face; he wanted to replace that sadness with happiness, with smiles and pleasure. He felt at loss of what to do. Walking over to the couch he sat beside him, wrapping gentle arms around him he pulled him very gently into his lap. He felt the small form begin to tremble and cry into his chest. He felt every aching sob, every pained sound, and every desperate cling as he felt the pain radiate from him.

Tai felt all the more need to protect him. Rubbing his back gently, he tucked him under his chin trying hard to make him feel even the slightest bit better.

"Shhh... It's okay honey... It's okay." His voice held a reassurance he was unsure Matt heard.

Pulling the plush throw blanket over them, they remained there through the early hours of the morning. The clinging sorrow hovered like a black cloud of dread, unmoving, and uncaring. Tai placed a gentle kiss on the top of his head, he found he could do nothing but hold him. Listening to the soft pained cries, he felt a sense of helplessness come over him. He kept a protective hold on him, wanting to make it all go away.


	11. Ch11: Injure

Quiet sobs had faded into silence, gentle arms stayed around the fair haired boy. The sun has risen over the concrete buildings, casting its rays over the cool tiled floor. Tai very gently lifted Matt's head, smiling softly at him; he placed a kiss on his forehead. The pain remained in his eyes even if it left his face. Tai cupped his face very gently. He felt he needed to reassure him. No matter how small the act he wanted to make the pain leave and never come back.

"Do you want anything?" He kept his voice gentle and calm.

Matt nodded slowly "Painkiller, coffee, please" His voice was small.

Tai nodded, placing another soft kiss on his forehead. Very gently and smoothly Tai moved the slender boy onto the couch, keeping him wrapped in the plush blanket. Stepping into the kitchen he put a pot of perk on the machine. Waiting patiently for it to begin brewing, he brought Matt the painkiller with a glass of water. He watched him take it in silence, wondering if he should make him some food. Going back to the kitchen he dumped the remaining water, setting the cup on the counter. Grabbing a mug he made the boy a warm coffee. Sitting lightly done on a couch he passed him his coffee.

"Do you want anything to eat Matt? You haven't eaten for over a day." He asked gently.

Matt shook his head, keeping himself buried in the blanket. "No, thank you."

"You should eat something, even if it's just something small." Tai wasn't trying to push.

"No. Thank you."

Tai sighed softly, rising to his feet again to make himself something to eat. His mind was elsewhere as he prepared something to eat. He wondered how he was going to make Matt feel better, there is no greater pain than being disowned and beaten by someone you trusted. Tai could only do his best, but he felt his best wasn't enough for the injured boy. Coming back to the couch softly he placed cinnamon toast on the coffee table in front of Matt in case he decided to eat something. Tai ate his own cinnamon toast.

The smell was near intoxicating to the starving boy, although his stomach tied itself into tight knots at the sight of food. He didn't understand why the thought of consuming something made him sick. He had no desire to eat anything. He watched Tai munch on his toast, as he let the sun wash him with warmth. The sun made him feel mildly more at ease and a little better, he knew Tai would help him through everything. Yet he just couldn't let it go. Sighing inwardly he cast his gaze down to his own lap, his bruised hands rested limply on his legs. His back was straight as a pin as the pain in his ribs dulled with the help of the low dosage of morphine.

Tai left the toast there for Matt as he cleaned the dishes from that morning and the day before. Chestnut eyes carefully followed his own movements: pick up the dish, wash, set aside, dish, wash, and set aside. Finish, dry, put away. They seemed almost robotic as he tried desperately to think of a way to help the boy on the couch. He kept telling himself to think, to do something spontaneous like he use to do. He leaned on the marbled counter top, staring at the blonde wrapped in the plush blanket.

'_What am I going to do?' _


	12. Ch12: Love

With each passing day, Tai was concerned for how well Matt was taking to what had happened. He would sit and watch him with gentle chestnut eyes as the blonde would sit and pick at the strings of his guitar. He hated the lifelessness that had grasped the boy; nothing seemed to crack through the shell that he formed around him. Tai could only sit back and watch him, praying, hoping, that one of these times he could get through to him again. Speaking over and over in his head the words he said, wanted to say again, _I want to take the pain away, please, let me help you._

Light rays of sun lightly touched calloused fingers as they picked at the strings of the cherry wood instrument. His guitar was his only friend that couldn't possibly betray him; the only thing that wouldn't betray him. Matt didn't want to hang onto these feelings, he knew Tai loved him, he knew Tai would never lay a hand on him in anger, he knew Tai. He also knew how he felt for him, the passionate, deep and thriving love he felt for him. But the anguishing shock that made its way into his mind, he couldn't let it go and he didn't understand why.

Setting the guitar beside him, he sighed as he pulled Tai's sweater close around him. Matt was lost in his thoughts; he needed a way out of his hole before it got deeper. Getting to his feet he made his way over the cool tiled floor to the brunette sitting at the mahogany table. He needed help, he needed someone, he wanted someone, he just needed him. Chestnut eyes looked up at him as he got closer.

"Are you alright, Matt?" He voice was full of concern.

Matt shook his head, biting his lip lightly.

"No…I'm not…you know I'm not…" He hated the sound of his voice. It was a mere shadow of who he was. It sounded feeble and weak.

Tai got up slowly, as not to make Matt jumpy. He embraced him close, gently tucking the blonde's head onto his shoulder. Placing a light kiss onto his head as he felt hands cling to his shirt, looking for safety and warmth. Tai kept him close as the light rays crept their away closer to them.

The glass pane to the balcony lightly frosted with signs of the season to come. Tai moved the boy very carefully and gently back to the couch, wrapping the two of them in the fluffy throw blanket he kept there. Placing a light kiss on his head, he gave him a warm smile. As sapphire eyes looked up at him, small specks of colour splashed on his face, from the iridescent crystals upon the window. Tai's eyes were soft, his smile welcoming.

"Matt, you are truly beautiful." Tai said honestly.

Matt looked down immediately,

"How can you say that? I'm nothing but walking bruise."

"That doesn't mean anything to me. I don't see bruises, and broken bones can heal. Matt, I love you. I see you, not the bruising." His smile fell, but his voice kept the warmth and honesty.

Matt curled into him, he didn't understand why Tai loved him so much, and he didn't want to understand. He just wanted someone to want him, he had that, yet he still couldn't smile.

"I love you too… I love you too." His voice was weak; he couldn't find anything else to say.

Tai held him close, keeping a nurturing, safe, loving space for the blonde. He wanted to help him, he wanted to show him that it's not the look of his face, the build of his body, as well as it's not a bad thing to be who you are. Tai really loved him and he wanted Matt to see that.


End file.
